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How Many Industry Analysts Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

Gartner Analyst
"We feel that a new bulb is necessary & that the bulb will be replaced (0.99 probability) - we have a new service that addresses that issue"

Forrester Analyst
"In 5 years, the new illumination technologies will replace what you currently have . . . Wait"

IDC Analyst
"There are 1,230,245 burnt-out bulbs in the world - for $2,500, we will tell you where they are . . . "

Giga and Meta Analysts
"Is it dark in here or what?"

Aberdeen and Ovum Analysts
"We'll write about the old bulb for $25,000"

Big Six Consultant
"It's time to re-engineer the sun..."